It’ so frustrating when people start judging you based on your views on things like religion or politics. But that is not really why they judge you. They assume these things about you because of their view on your religious and political views. So it’s their problem not yours. A great example was an article I read a few weeks ago. It’s name I can’t remember but I do know that it was from a reliable source otherwise I wouldn’t have mentioned it here. It was about these men who were constantly being rejected by women for the same reason; it was because they were Republican. Now for people who are not familiar with American politics, being a Republican means supporting the American Republic Party. It’s one of the two major political parties in the United States.
So anyway, these men set their political views as Republican on various dating sites, and when they expressed interest on a woman, they would immediately get rejected with the woman saying, “I don’t date Republicans.” Without ever getting to know the person, these women assume these men aren’t going to satisfy them in anyway, and know they’ll never be happy with this person. Can we really say that we know a person based on just that? It is a possibility that is very inconsistent. So should we say it’s the men’s fault they were rejected? Or the women for rejecting these men without really getting to know them? In other words, can we blame these men and say the reason they’re single is because of their views or should we blame these women for their views on these men being republican.
It is quite confusing. But I’m pretty sure most of you are going to blame the women for not getting to know these men before rejecting them. What’s that clichéd proverb our parents and teachers use? Don’t judge a book by its cover? I don’t like that proverb at all because you only think of it when you read someone being mistreated in a story or in a article online. I’m sure most of us would react the same way these women did if we met someone from a social group we didn’t agree with. You see it all the time in religion and politics.
I promised myself I’d never judge someone like that, but recently I found out I did, and that I had judged these people for the wrong reasons for a very long time. I use to be against Israel like a lot but then after meeting a few Israelis, I realized that I was wrong. That I shouldn’t mix my views on the Israeli government and ordinary peace-loving Israelis just like the women mentioned above shouldn’t have mixed Republicans with Republican politicians.
It was that simple which made me feel stupid because it took me so long to realize that, but then I noticed, they were many others who weren’t even close to accomplishing what I learned, which taught me something: Don’t expect others not to judge you because you don’t judge them.
Okay I came to that conclusion a long time ago when I was being judged by this lady at the DMV; because my name was Muhammad she thought I throw acid at women and beat them to death. But the Israeli incident really strengthen that belief.
But what made it really frustrating was when I was wrongly judged because of certain views I had by my friends. We always agree on everything that it felt awkward when we disagreed on some things. I was talking about this case in Iraq where the Prime Minister ordered the police to kill homosexuals in the capital, and how I was quite against it. Since we were at a public platform where many could hear us, everyone seemed to support me. But after having separate conversations with them, I felt some of them were angry at me for the conversation I started and them having to agree with me because everyone could hear us. I could literally feel it when I talked to them; that they think I’m going to hell because I said all of those things. And I think they’re also angry because they think they’re going to hell because they had to agree with me because of the pressure. It’s just a feeling. There was no major mention of it by anyone; just minor ones. No one really told me that I was going to hell, but some just asked me to think about what i said more critically. What is there to think about? People were killing other people for just existing, how much more critical can I get from there?
Then, there was being labelled as an atheist by another friend because I support the separation of religion and state. I have no idea how that changes me from believing in one God and Prophet Muhammad as His Messenger. I’m offended because I was judged wrongly, not because I was labelled as an atheist. Though, I know I shouldn’t be offended at all because this friend has never lived in a country where he’s a religious minority, where his religion doesn’t influence the government greatly. He doesn’t know how unfair it is to have 10 days off from school in Christmas but spend the first day of school on Eid, a holiday you actually celebrate.
Nevertheless, I must deal with it. These friends of mine are now assuming that every action I take, every topic I talk about is either against Islam or promotes atheism. They’re of course not going to be talking about how they’re feeling because conservatives don’t do that. Nonetheless, I will talk to them and try stopping them from judging my every act because that’s what Islam actually teaches us to do. It tells us to end conflicts, not create them; peacefully of course 🙂
I am Muhammad Mustafa and you just saw my perspective of the world 🙂